You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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