I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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