i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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