My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
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Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
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I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
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