I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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