so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize