I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
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You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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