You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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