One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
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She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
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Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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