can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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