His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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