I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize