Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
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I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
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It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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