remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Randomize