playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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