If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize