Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
there was a trapeze. enough said
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize