she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
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