Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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