I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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