What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
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I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
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The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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