can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I enjoy the company of your penis
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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