4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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