I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i just google imaged poop.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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