he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
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I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
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he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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