The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Randomize