So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
God, I missed his penis.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize