Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
this hospital has no fireball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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