I'm jealous of your bromance
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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