I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize