She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Small penises have feelings too.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
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i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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