I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
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no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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