the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize