Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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