and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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