Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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