how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
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There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
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I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
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