I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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