All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize