I think i peed on brittanys purse
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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