That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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