I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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