I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize