ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Randomize