Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
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I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
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I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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