she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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