Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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