Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize