I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize