whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Four minutes until I can fart!
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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